This past week, I heard from my sister that twice now cops had been to her house looking for me.  I had no idea why they would be looking for me but I had a feeling it couldn’t be good and then the other night, 3 cops came to our apartment…with an arrest warrant for me.  After my sister told us about the cops, I did some calls and found about I had a warrant out from 9 years ago for a bad check.  Talk about being shocked!  I know it sounds hard to believe but I had completely forgotten about that check.

During this past week, I made plenty of calls, hoping there was any way to settle this without going through the arrest process that but every time I came up with an idea, it was blocked.  I must have made over 20 calls trying to avoid the arrest but no matter how hard I tried (even though I had already made arrangements to pay the business I owed money to) everyone I spoke to said the warrant had to be served and I had to go with the officers.

When the officers got here to the apartment, they were very polite and respectful but I had a stress seizure and cried – and afterwards, offered them some water or sweet tea.  I mean, a Southern woman is known for her hospitality, right?  It turns out that between my seizures, and my many medications that my mother showed them kept me from the overnight jail cell experience that evening.  They would have had to take me to the hospital first to get me cleared, then to jail.  Given the late hour, they postponed it until tomorrow.  Thank you, God for a slight reprieve and a chance to catch my breath.

I should back track – back story time – my favorite!  Nine years ago, I was not the woman I am today.  By the Grace of God, he called me back into his loving arms and I slowly transformed into a woman of righteousness.  Who am I kidding – I am still becoming a woman of righteousness – everyday being shaped and molded more like Christ.  Although God had already redeemed me nearly 10 years ago, I was still sometimes called back to my old ways at times, more from habit than anything, not recognizing the freedom that was already given to me.

During that period of my life before being redeemed (and even during my time of redemption), I was selfish, irresponsible, seeking only my own pleasure; and I didn’t care who I hurt, all the while pushing down all the hurt that was happening to me. 

Flash forward to 2017, 9 years later, and the cops came a knockin’ for a bad check of all things. Oh, the irony. Here I thought I had left my past self in the past but her actions were still chasing me down.  I was actually relieved to be able to settle the debt – it was the handcuffs, and then jail, and then having to have my bail set before a judge part I wasn’t too stoked about.  Either way, it was set for tomorrow morning, no talking out of it, not enough time to pay the right people and departments, nothing to do but accept the inevitable.

It seemed like I had a date with destiny and her name was (Former) Me, and a jail cell.  

Thankfully, since I was not in a jail cell that night, this gave me time to call my girl squad and talk and get prayed over.  Yet, no one was available.

That’s when I heard it – a voice that was loud enough that it may have been in the same room as me saying, “Why are you going to them and not me first?”  And I felt instantly ashamed.  I knew the voice of my Father in Heaven. 

He had been there to comfort me before, and instead of running to him first, I just skipped him and went straight to the tangible comforts, my friends.  By them not being available, though, I was able to understand my heart, pray for forgiveness, and let God comfort me in a way that no one could.  For that, I am still so thankful.  That time with him was precious and dear to my heart.

Although I did get girl squad comfort time later, that time was in no way comparable because with them, I had to explain my heart and mind; whereas with Christ, he already knew it and I could just lay still and say “Thanks, and “Praise you, Lord” and “Let your will be done” and have his peace wash over me like a wave without the fear of drowning from it but only feeling renewed with more air and life.

I also knew that no matter what happened the next day, I deserved it.  I accepted it.  It was part of my past, a sin that had caught up to me, and I had to pay the price. 

I was resigned to see it through.  I figured if I tried everything I could to stop it from happening and if God was still allowing it to happen, then I would make the best of tomorrow, come what may.  I would wake up tomorrow, read His word, and use whatever Scripture I read to keep me calm and focused.  I would use His word to light my path and possibly be a light to someone who needed me that day.  Although I kind of giggled at the idea that a woman in handcuffs probably doesn’t make much of a reliable witness for Christ.

To be continued…